HOW TO DEVELOP CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK


HOW TO DEVELOP CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK


Are you one of those people who hide behind your colleague to avoid giving a speech or presentation at all cost?

Deep in your heart, you want to do it but you have lack of confidence? You don’t think you should? You don’t believe you are able to do it?

So how do you overcome these uncertain feelings?

How can you develop your confidence to speak?

Do you still have a chance? Or forever hold your peace?

Don’t worry. Of course you still have a chance.

But before that, first you need to evaluate yourself. Find out why you have lack of confidence to speak.

Is it because…
- You are afraid of making mistakes and embarrass yourself?
-   You are lack of skills?
-   You are a perfectionist?
- You think too much about what other people might think?

Once you have identified the reasons for your lack of confidence, let us take a look at some ways to develop your confidence to speak.

1) Have a positive mindset

A positive mindset is vital in order to build up your confidence. This is not easy to do especially if you are naturally a negative person. In addition, a change of mindset does not happen overnight. It takes time. However, you can change your mindset slowly. It is not impossible.

Remember these points when you have any doubt in doing public speaking:

a) No one gets it right the first time. It takes time to be good at something but you need to take the first step. Even babies need to learn how to crawl before they learn how to walk. If you don’t give it a try, you will never know what amazing things you can actually do.

b) We all make mistakes. And we learn from our mistakes. Do not be afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes help us to avoid bigger mistakes and make us better every time. I made a lot of mistakes when I first started speaking. And I’m glad I did.

c) Nothing is perfect.
Yes. Nothing is 100% perfect especially in public speaking. Your speech and presentation can be great but not without some flaws. It might not go as you plan. But the actual truth; the imperfection makes your speech and presentation seems very natural and convincing.

Do not look for perfection. Instead, try looking for effectiveness and real connection. You are a human being with unique ways of presenting your ideas each time. You are not a ‘standardised merchandise’.

d) Being Nervous is normal
Believe it or not, everybody gets nervous when giving a speech or doing a presentation. Yes, including the professional speakers. Having anxiety or feeling nervous is practically normal. I feel nervous each time I speak. It is alright to feel nervous. Do not let nervousness stop you from speaking.

Being nervous is actually good for you. It shows that you are excited and passionate to start speaking. Start speaking with such energy and enthusiasm. You may feel nervous at first but after a while, you will be focusing on what you wish to say instead of how you feel inside.

e) Stop thinking about what people might think. We often make our own assumptions especially when we have negative feelings. We are always afraid that people will judge us.

“Oh no, they don’t like my speech.”

“Oh, what if I forget what I want to say? It will be so embarrassing!”

“Oh no, they are not laughing. I’m making a fool of myself”

Most of the time, it is all in your mind. Stop making any assumption. If you wish to know what your audience think about you or your speech, the best way to do it is to ask them yourself.

Just remember this, giving a speech or a presentation is not about you. It is about sharing and giving information. It is about spreading ideas to help others. It is about conveying great message to others. Once you understand that, you will not worry about making mistakes. You will pay more attention to ways to get the message across to your audience.

2) Stay focused

Another reason that stops us from developing confidence in giving a speech is because we do not know why we want to speak in the first place. Stay focused on what really matters. Take some time to think about your speech purpose. Why are you doing this? Why do you wish to speak?

By focusing on your purpose in giving a speech, you will not think about what people think of you. But you will think about what you can do for others. You shall develop confidence naturally as you will be passionate to speak. You will then understand that the most important thing is delivering the speech message to your listeners. And this is what matters the most.

3) Prepare well and get feedback

In any situation; if you want to be sure of what you want to do then you need to be ready. If you hope to achieve something, you have to be well-prepared. The same thing applies to public speaking. How do you develop confidence to speak? The answer is preparation. By being prepared, you will make fewer mistakes and you will be more confident. The lack of preparation often results in stress, dilemma, apprehension and disasters!

Another effective way to develop confidence in giving a speech is by getting feedback from experienced speakers and your audience. These people will let you know what they think of your speech presentation. This will avoid you from making unnecessary assumptions which usually lead to negative thinking.

You can get many useful tips, advice and suggestions by asking for feedback. Of course, you need to be smart to only take advice that works for you. Do not easily get offended by honest views of others. Be humble in learning. These feedback shall help you to see your strengths and weaknesses. Once you can perceive everything clearly, you will be more confident in giving a speech the next time.

4) Go out there and speak as often as you can

And finally, the most practical way to develop confidence to speak is by actually doing it. Yes, please read it again. Go out there and start speaking if you have never spoken before. If you have, please go out again and speak as often as you like. Public speaking is a skill. I repeat; a skill.

Practise makes perfect. Although, I mentioned it before that nothing is perfect. Practise makes you better at what you are doing. It is like learning to ride a bicycle. If you don’t ride the bicycle often, how are you going to be good at it?

If you feel that you are not confident to speak because you do not possess the skills then by all means; go out there and learn the skills! And use the skills as often as you can!

The big finish…

I know exactly how you feel. I understand it can be scary, terrifying and intimidating. But you have to face your greatest fear and conquer it. If you don’t, you will be wondering for the rest of your life. And you know that life is short unless you are very lucky. 

Go for the leap and experience the true meaning of life. Have some faith and believe in yourself. If I believe that you can, then you should believe it too.

Speak now. Or forever hold your peace :)
Written by: Intan Salwana Anis
@2018 Public Speaking Is Cool. All Rights Reserved

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